Blacker Than the Blackest Black Times Infinity

Here is a winding, lengthy tome about my continuing musical evolution, currently defined by the darkest of all music genres, metal.

Photo of Immortal black metal band members

Abbath Does Matrix Bullet Time While Horgh Encourages Him

Music In the Womb

It all started in the family.

I was exposed to metal at the tender age of five or something, when I sang “Sweet Child O’ Mine” whilst my uncle played the lead guitar accompaniment. It helped a lot that the boys’ room was plastered by old-school posters of James Hetfield and the gang. My uncle’s rabble-rousing, loud band of college friends came over to our house for some beer and shredding, and he would headbang repeatedly, Slash-like curls of black hair bouncing around in sonic oblivion. The grating sound of guitars and the thumping, wild drumming fascinated me; the rest of the time it gave me associative nightmares like seeing your aunties having their brains microwaved for consumption by insane metal brothers.

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the weird trip that was the eighties

to absolve myself from incrimination, please take note that i was born in 1985, slightly too young to be considered as an accomplice to the hairspray-induced craziness that was eighties’ (dance, pop, punk) music.

since i was tasked to look for a couple of eighties dance videos here and there, to youtube i heigh-ho. some choice gems that i unearthed:

the go-go’s

lambada

cyndi lauper

village people

the above is not meant to be a comprehensive list. i just wanted to share with you the clammy shivers that i get from watching the videos. we have to spread the cringe, man… and while we’re outwardly horrified at the bad makeup and the overt gayness, i know that you’re just as reluctant as me to admit to being a teeny bit pleased with all of it.

in fact, let’s upsize that teeny bit into an extra large tumbler of Coke. this brings back some cheerful memories, really. so fucking old, we are.

i leave you to deal with the unavoidable retinal burn.

Rock The Riles 2008 Site Map

Are you the typical post-millenium youngster, worshipping at the altar of Jobs, clad in the priestly vestments of fashionable streetgear, listening to shamelessly downloaded torrents of your own sinful choice?

So absolve yourself by indulging in live music for a cause! We promise free passes to St. Peter’s gate, you consumerist freak.

Click here for the site map as posted in gang badoy’s blog.

Since it’s a bit small, and zooming it in doesn’t do the pixelated text any justice, and since i am not a premium user of multiply, here’s a text list (also for the unfortunate who insist on sticking to text-only browsers, or have strict noscript installed).

Taft – Nokia Hiphop Group / Beware of Death Threat / Miscellaneous / Monique / IS-J / Mike Swift / Pamilya Dimagiba / People’s Future

Ayala – Terno Recordings / Radioactive Sago Project / Up Dharma Down / Giniling Festival / Paramita / Ang Bandang Shirley / Sleepwalk Circus / Swissy / Juan Pablo Dream / Musical O / Outerhope / Sugarfree

Buendia – Intolerant / Taken By Cars / Typecast / Switch / Out of Body Special / Hilera / Urbandub / Nyctinasty / Salamin / Severo / Faspitch / Subscapular

Boni – Peryodiko / Cambio / Enemies of Saturn / Blue Jean Junkies / Analog / Agnes Ignarra / Pinup Girls / Bagetsafonik / Roots of Nature / Chillitees / Mozzie / Lahi / Gasulina

Shaw – Chicosci / Lowtechs / Playphonics / Nyko Maca / College Coed / Join the Club

Cubao – The Youth / Jeepney Joyride / FMD / Sopiz / Zelle / Menaya / Ciudad / Head / Chardonnay / Miko Aguilar / Nityalila / Matilda

QA – Philtag / Rock Ed – Nokia Music Scholars / Tribu (film) rap artists

North – Short films and photography

The lineups are quite lively. Confused as to which station I’ll be staking out. I’m considering reanimating a handful of corpses and stationing them at the choice MRT stops, each of course broadcasting evil vibes when band of my choice starts to come up. Getting there is a simple matter of apparition, Potter-style.